Tuesday, December 27, 2016

On Grief Shaming, and RIP Carrie Fisher

Now we lost our beloved Carrie Fisher.

We've lost so many legends all in one and the same year, and people wonder why people are blaming it on 2016?

No, it has nothing to do with literally blaming a time or year. We're losing cultural icons way too fast, way too young, too quickly, and too tragically within days, weeks, and months apart in the same year, and the only way many can cope with it is by simply saying "Fuck 2016." Not literally blaming 2016, it's not that literal. It's simply acknowledging that this is the year where truly there's heartbreak after the next, one loss after another, and it all so happened to take place in 2016, and in such a very strange and sad way.

RIP, Carrie. The Force will always be with you, and you will always be with us.

Nobody has been personally bullying me, but I'm seeing this aplenty on social media, on this thing that's become a thing now: grief shaming.

 I can imagine you have many friends that are critical of people mourning over celebrity deaths. To each their own, of course, but please, don't let any of them invalidate your natural human response to mourn. It's not only the celebrity we're mourning for, it's the end of an era, a piece of our childhood, and a huge chunk of pop culture that is now gone. And heck yeah that's worth crying for, we're allowed to cry, and celebrate, and remember, and love, at the same time, for such a loss.
We're crying for you now Carrie Fisher, and we will celebrate, remember, and love you, for as long as we want and need to, because dammit, you deserve it.

Again, I'll say it again: NOBODY is LITERALLY blaming 2016 for the losses. But we will keep on saying it until and maybe even long after it's over: Fuck you, 2016.

I don't know why or since when grief shaming has been a thing, but seriously: mourning for a celebrity does NOT mean that we don't care about the death of ordinary people, there's no universal law or rule out there that says you can only mourn for people you know personally, and last time I checked, who one personally mourns for doesn't hurt anyone. Being annoyed by the general population mourning is one thing, but grief shaming is petty, period.

To anyone who is being guilt shamed: don't. You can mourn for whoever you like or want to, for as long as you want or need to. Our human nature to mourn is only a thing of beauty, care, and love, and that's worth giving into even in times when others may not tap into that as much as many others.  It's not about them. It's only about you and the one(s) you're mourning for and celebrating. Whether you know the person or not, the celebrity or not, grieving is love, and love is still love, even in this case.



  1. This one hit me as hard as Bowie but in a different way. Not ashamed to admit I've bawled my eyes out all day!

    1. I know, I was thinking about you a lot today! *hugs*